Today I took a look at my car and realized I needed to suck it up and run the thing thru the car wash. That or let the car corrode with all the salt and chemicals caked on it. So, I went to the local gas station that has one of those automatic car washes attached to it. Now I know I am not always the brightest bulb, so I bought gas an asked the attendant how the car wash works. He said, "punch in the code on your receipt and your all set."
For those of you thinking, "what could possibly go wrong with that?" Well let me tell you. It seems I decided to enter the cartoon world of car washes because frankly, this would not happen in real life. I pull up tp the car wash, patiently wait my turn. (I know but really I was patient)
Now let me tell you, the car wash has one of those garage doors that rolls up at both the entrance and the exit. So the garage door goes up at the entrance and I roll on. I flashes a stop light when you are pulled in far enough and then the garage door closes. Then la de da the sprayer starts and water spews at the car. Everything is right in my world. Unfortunately, I did not anticipate that the drying phase would be so traumatic. The wash is done, the light tells me to pull forward and the giant hot air blowers start up. While this is happening the exit garage door opens. Now I start to pull forward but I realize that there is a blow dryer countdown, and its freaking cold outside so I want to get my full blow the water off my car so it doesn't freeze solid option. So there I am, and the countdown for the dryer hits 5, 4, 3,....... OMG the garage door is CLOSING. Yes, you see what's happening right. I can't get out unless I want the garage door to slam onto my car and there is no attendant. What on earth would make someone believe people like me would be safe in an automatic car wash, unattended?
So now I'm stuck in the car wash and all I can do is sit there for a minute, panicking and thanking God that no one pulled in behind me because that would just make this so much worse. Not only would I be stuck but the car wash would be spewing water and I would be more than mortified to have a human being witness this spectacle. Finally after a minute or two I spot a button that I can only pray will raise the garage door and not, I don't know, sound an alarm of some sort. I get out of the car, push the button, the garage door starts to go up and I run to leap back into the car and make a mad dash for escape.
Needless to say, I'm home now, the car is clean, and I may make myself a stiff drink.
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