Thursday, April 19, 2012

April 19, 2012 – WTH Is Wrong With People?

Last week I read the news story online “Desperate brides tryfeeding tube diet” which really rocked my world and not in a good way.  I’m not even sure I can express my reaction to this article in a coherent way.  So if you are looking for coherent, you might want to move along because this is really going to be a rant.

What is so magical about a wedding that makes women feel the need to lose weight and how many of those women keep the weight off after the wedding?  Hey I’m all for goals and if you want to use your wedding day as a goal for improving your health that’s fantastic, but there is a What is wrong with these people?  I get that women want to lose weight before the big day but seriously if you were overweight when you got engaged then apparently it wasn’t a hindrance to your love.  Suddenly you are getting married and you want to lose 20 pounds so you let a doctor shove a feeding tube up your nose?  Is he wiring your mouth shut too?  Because let me tell you; you might be getting your 800 calories a day through the tube up your nose but if you’re still putting chocolate in your mouth it’s not going to help.  Hell if you actually have the fortitude to electively have someone shove a tube up your nose wouldn’t that imply that you have the wherefore all to restrict what you eat on your own?

These crazy people are paying $1500 a day for a 10 day feeding tube diet.  Hell people, I’ll charge you $200 a day end punch you in the stomach every time you try to eat something.  How’s that for a diet plan?  Oh wait, you’re getting married and probably don’t want bruises.  Ok how about $200 a day and instead of punching you in the stomach I just take the knuckle on my right hand and crack you upside the head every time you eat.  Hey it leaves no marks but hurts like hell.  That should be a deterrent.

Really a voluntary feeding tube?  My god and who are these quacks… I mean doctors who are willing to do this?  Seriously.  What the hell brides… BUY A DRESS THAT FITS and not one that is a size smaller.  This article says that wedding dresses run small so if you are normally a size 12 you would need a size 14 wedding dress.  Does it matter?  Really has ANYONE ever walked up to a bride and asked:  “Hmmm what size dress is that?... Oh dear… it’s a 14, 18, 24… you must be so embarrassed that you couldn't wear a size 6”  If some crazy guest actually had the nerve to ask such a question they would also ask “how much do you weigh?”  Personally I can envision the wedding scene if that were to happen and it would make Bridezilla’s look tame.  The News Headline would be “Rampaging Bride Maims Guest Over Insensative and Inappropriate Question”

Hell isn’t this why someone invented spanx?

Copyright © C.A. Bailey 2010 - 2012, All Rights Reserved.

1 comment:

  1. Sweet CAB;
    I am right with you.
    I am still angry about this; knowing how close Casey has come - and how many times- to actually NEEDING a feeding tube!
    These women are a pox on the face of happy, well-adjusted and self-indulgent brides everywhere.

    They are a farce to those of us who realize that feeding tubes mean death is too close for comfort.