Thursday, August 17, 2017

I Can't Make This Stuff Up

So where to start, I thought that Monday was a pretty interesting day.  There was a man hunt in our neighborhood.  Long story short, a guy tried to break into a neighbor's house.  Another work from home neighbor spotted the guy, confronted him and called the police.  The guy took off running...into the marsh.  Yada Yada police, firemen,  police dogs, helicopters... they caught their man.  Oh then a small plane crash landed on the town fairground.  Seriously, this is a small town and I'm pretty sure we filled our excitement quotient for the next 10 years.

Yeah so, needless to say I thought Monday was pretty exciting.  Then Wednesday afternoon rolled around.  We own a house that we rent.  The renter called because she got home and there was a woman in her driveway going on about how she'd spent the day in the house with the renter's cat and could she go back inside.  Being a rational woman the renter says something along the lines of "What the F*&% are you talking about and how'd you get into the house?" So crazy lady says the owner , Mark (uses my last name) gave her a key.  Now in this very moment today I'm rolling my eyes at this, I never show up at the house or have anyone else show up at the house without giving the renter a heads up.  Even if I have no intention of going INSIDE the house.  I think that's polite.  So the renter calls me and asks if I know what's going.  My only response is.... "Call the POLICE!! Like Right freaking NOW" 

By the time I get to the house there are 3 cop cars outside the house and the guys are standing in the street talking to crazy lady.  The renter is on the front stoop with her Dad.  I walk up to the police to tell them I'm technically the owner of the house, there's no such person as Mark... Crazy lady starts to walk right up to me with her hand extended like she wants to shake my hand.  Yeah, seriously, can you read a situation lady?  Um, no, no she can't.  I'm pissed off.  I say I'm not shaking your hand as far as I'm concerned you broke into the house and need to be arrested.  She's SHOCKED at my reaction, she says she had a key.  So where's the freaking key now???  She gave it back to mystery Mark.  Right, I just tell the cops she's a freaking liar.  They're all thrown off because she is basically saying someone with my last name gave her a key.  I'm telling her the only people with my last name I'm aware of don't have the name Mark, don't have the key to the house and sure as hell wouldn't have given her one. 

Oh did I fail to mention she's said she was looking for her lost kitten.  Then she said Mark gave her the key to look in on his cat because he was worried about it.  He fell down the stairs at her work and broke both legs....  After two hours of the cops talking to this lady because they're trying to piece together what they should be doing with her. They can't charge her with breaking in because (a) she said she had a key and (b) there isn't any evidence she was ever actually in the house.  Me again, WHY CAN'T WE TAKE HER AT HER WORD THAT SHE WAS IN THE FREAKING HOUSE ....without permission of the owner or the renter.  Then her story unravels, the real story.... she abandoned a cat, told the husband some crazy story about the cat, there really is a Mark who works at an animal shelter whose name she randomly pulled out of the air because it supports the story she told her husband.  Why she ever said she was in the house is beyond everyone... including herself because now she says she lied about that and never expected it to get this bad this quick.  Ok quick word to the wise.... Don't abandon animals on the side of the street... bring them to the shelter and seriously don't tell people you spent all day inside their home because you don't want anyone to know you abandoned an animal on the side of the road.

So crazy lady got a trip to the psych ward for a 24 hour hold and potentially a warrant issued for her.  My renter got a new set of locks because even though we actually believe crazy lady never was in the house it's good piece of mind for everyone involved. Oh and my renter got to share the story last night with her friends while the celebrated her 25th birthday.  Hey 25 can only go up from there.

Copyright © C.A. Bailey 2010 - 2017, All Rights Reserved.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Pregnant Ladies and Cross Fit

There's no easy way to say this, but I was put to shame today by what appeared to be a woman who I am guessing is 7 or 8 months pregnant, who henceforth will be referred to affectionately as "The Beast", because she pretty much crushed the workout.  I went to Cross Fit today and was feeling a little trepidation based on the scheduled workout.

As Many Rounds as You can complete in 20 Mins:
5 hand stand push ups
10 box jumps on a 24" box or lower
5 pull ups or 15 Ring Rows

Let's just clarify right now, I can't do a handstand pushups.  Hell I can't really do a handstand.  I can do this weird accommodation thing where you walk your feet up the wall and sort of get into a handstand position.   That said I can only do that a few rounds before I have to switch to another easier accommodation.  So "The Beast" she just tucks her shirt in and cranks a few of these out.  I do think she eventually moved on to some other accommodation, but I really wanted to ask if that baby throws off her center of gravity.

I can do box jumps....on a 12" box but again after a few rounds that becomes step ups because I've accepted that I'm 52 and I have no immediate plans to jump over a short fence, or a burning vehicle.  The Beast, during warm up she pulls out a 24" box.  The instructor is like... Nooooooooo.  She's Oh I'm fine, I'm really comfortable with this.  He's still saying Noooooo.  Finally he says, "You might be comfortable but I'm really not."  So she concedes and moves to an 18" box.  Now I'll admit, I've never been pregnant but I can't help but wonder how uncomfortable it has to be to do ANY jumping around.  Then I start wondering if she just really wants that baby out of her and figures the box jump will shake it loose.  Then again made the hand stand pushups just put the baby back into the correct position after the box jumps. 
The pull ups she said were more difficult with the extra 30lbs of baby weight but she cranked out a few of those too before switching to ring rows.  Yeah, I have to lose 30lbs before I can do even 1 pull up. 

What did I learn from this? The pregnant lady is wicked fit and when she's not pregnant she must be a superhero.

Copyright © C.A. Bailey 2010 - 2017, All Rights Reserved.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Jumping Rope part 2

I'm very excited to announce that I managed to string together 95 single jumps before I tripped up.  Granted I couldn't repeat that again in my workout but WIN!

I also learned the theory behind doing a double under. Oh yeah, imagine jumping up and getting the rope around twice before your feet hit the ground.  It also helps if you don't (a) whip your shins with the rope or (b) fall on your face as you get tangled up.  Well exiting to me, but probably not to you. I managed to string together 2 double under without having an issue with either (a) or (b).

Now I'm 52 years old and I can admit that I'd be thrilled just being able to consistently jump rope without coughing up a lung and maybe not looking like I'm having a seizure.  Ok fine, I'd also like to do some of the things I could do as a switching feet.  I over think it.  Well maybe it's more like imagining myself faceplanting that holds me back. Ok no, it's the coughing up a lung thing and legs getting too tired to actually jump.  Yeah that's it.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

I've been having a craving. I know, excluding pregnant women how often do you get a craving that is specific like "Oatmeal Raisin Cookies."  Usually they are things like "chocolate" or "ice cream" or heck even the general "cookies."  Regardless, I've been craving oatmeal raisin cookies and at the same time I've been trying to be good about not eating things with "sugar" or artificial sweeteners.  What's a girl to do?

Well, I found a recipe for my specific craving that replaced sugar with ripe bananas.   The reviews were pretty good.  Some people made suggestions to add nuts or peanut butter.  Anyway I gave them a try.  They smelled fantastic but I admit that I don't recall if the cookies are supposed to spread a little when baking, like chocolate chip cookies.  Here's what I learned.... they taste "OK".  Seriously, if this was a Goodreads review they'd get 2 out of 5 stars.  They are edible, not horrible.  A little "dusty".  Yes, seriously that is a good adjective for them... dusty.  Maybe they needed something else to add a bit more moisture or chewiness or something.  They are definitely missing something.  So next time I'm thinking of substituting bananas for sugar I'll just make banana bread.  That or I'll make the oatmeal raison cookies like they were intended to be made (with sugar) and just run a couple extra miles.  In the meantime I'm going to eat my dusty cookies and enjoy them.. kind of.

Copyright © C.A. Bailey 2010 - 2017, All Rights Reserved.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Jumping Rope

I joined Mad About CrossFit a few weeks ago.  Today we did a workout that involved quite a bit of jumping rope.  How hard can that be?  I was little once. I remember jumping rope and playing tag through the double dutch ropes. 

Let's just jump right in, no pun intended. Here's what I know: I can jump rope. No problem. It just requires quite a few starts and stops. The presence of a Paramedic and a readily accessible defibrillator. 

I thought the slow run I do was tough.  Jumping rope is crazy. After 3 weeks of occasionally being required to do it, I'm either getting better at it that my heart and lungs don't want to explode or so much worse that I can't string together enough consecutive jumps to kill me.

Then there are people there that do this thing called "double unders" where the rope makes 2 revolutions before you land after your "jump".  Yeah, I have a more realistic goal.  Get 60 single jumps completed before I trip up.  My current high = 30.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

A day of Firsts

Well maybe not entirely 1st's some of them are more like starting over.

I've officially started my training for the 1/2 Marathon in November.  I know I said I wouldn't do another one but this time my sister and I are doing it together.... even if I have to push her in stroller.  She was supposed to do the last one with me but had gotten hurt.

I went to my very 1st "Row Rage" at Mad About Cross Fit.  I envisioned a whole bunch of crazy people screaming at rowing machines.  Instead it was a nice group of women, who may have been silently cursing the row machines, getting a fun cardio workout.

Speaking of working out.  We all know those people who working out changes their lives and then they become the poster person for "X" thing.  How does that happen?  I kind of want that to happen to me, at least a little bit so I can stay motivated.  Sure I've lost my mind over other things.  Usually referred to as road rage, but how does someone get so sucked in that it becomes a "lifestyle"?  I have grand visions of making lifestyle changes.  They require work.  Lots of work.  Let's see if I have the where-for-all to get my act together.

I also met with my new Night Terror doctor.  She's very nice but I can no longer joke about the fact that my Night Terror doctor's name is Dr. Knight.  I'm sure I'll have other things to joke about in relation to my night terrors but at least my Rx will continue to be filled.

Copyright © C.A. Bailey 2010 - 2017, All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Frozen 5K

I started my New Year off by running in the Guilford Frozen 5K. Now some of you might be thinking that involves beer but you would be sadly mistaken.  Fortunately, it also wasn't very cold outside at all.

I'll admit that this is the longest distance I have run in YEARS and I'm not entirely sure you can call what I did "running".  I did finish and I consider that a huge win. Especially, since after the 1 mile mark I was contemplating if I could just step over the cones and head back in a graceful enough manner that no one would notice.  I kept envisioning some old woman screaming "Cheater" so I just continued to trudge along. 

The last few feet did turn into a bit of a footrace between me and the woman in a walker..... OK I made that last bit up but if there had been a woman in a walker I'd have knocked her down so I could come in ahead of her.

39.05 that's how long it took me.  Yes it's slow but Yea me! I didn't cheat and I got my butt moving.